Runaway Train
by Heather MacCloud
Summary: The end of the game through Shadow's eyes, set to the song Runaway Train by Soul Asylum. C&C welcomed and appericated.


Disclaimer: If you know them, I don't own them. Shadow, Sonic, ect. are all owned by Sega, and lots of other people with money. Suing will get you dog food. Do you really want to starve my dog?

Author's notes: Some of this might not be as those that only played the English version remember it. I personally can't sit through the English voices and have a fairly firm grasp of the Japanese language. The Japanese version has some pretty noticeable differences, thankfully, the differences shown in this story are slight, and there's only one.

Call you up in the middle of the night,

Like a firefly without a light

You were there like a slow torch burning

I was a key that could use a little turning  
  


You were always there for me, whenever I need you. I could come to you day or night and talk with you. How many nights did I fall asleep in your arms? I always felt safe with you, complete. To you was so much more than just an experiment. I was a friend, a person.  
 

So tired that I couldn't even sleep

So many secrets I couldn't keep

Promised myself I wouldn't weep

One more promise I couldn't keep  
  


You gave your life to save me, with your last breath you hit the button that sent me to safety. It was in vain, though, GUN found me locked in the capsule. I swore to myself, to you, that I would let them get to me. I promised that I wouldn't let them use me, corrupt the Professor's work and rob me of my humanity. For you, I wouldn't let them break me. As I lay there, day after day, year after year, locked in cold storage, the cold made me so tired, but I didn't sleep. I cried for you. You'd died in vain, and I broke my promise to you.  
  


It seems no one can help me now

I'm in too deep

There's no way out

This time I have really led myself astray  
  


Fifty years and your cousin found me, he was nothing like you. He meant nothing to me, just a means to an end. I thought I was doing as you wanted, giving you revenge. The colony will hit Earth soon, that planet will be no more. Oh, Maria, I thought that was what you wanted. I broke another promise to you. I'll be seeing you shortly. We'll both meet our ends on ARK. Can you forgive me?  
 

Runaway train never going back

Wrong way on a one-way track

Seems like I should be getting somewhere

Somehow I'm neither here nor there  
 

I can see the planet coming closer, this is it. The others are trying to stop it, but they can't. Even if they can get to the core of the cannon, one emerald won't stop this colony. I think I should be feeling something now. Guilt, remorse, relief, something. I should feel something for what's happening now, but there's nothing. I'm standing at the window where I told you that I felt lost so many years ago and nothing's changed, 50 years and I've gotten nowhere.  
 

Can you help me remember how to smile

Make it somehow all seem worthwhile

How on earth did I get so jaded

Life's mystery seems so faded  
 

You taught me to smile, to laugh, gave my life a meaning outside a lab. Can you do that now? I need you, Maria. Part of me wants to help them, but a bigger part says not to, that it's not worth it. I know it's useless but shouldn't I still do something? I wish you were here to tell me what to do, before I lost you I never had these doubts. Was it your death alone that changed me like this? I'm staring my own death in the face, and I'm indifferent to it. I'm going to die, but I don't care.  
 

I can go where no one else can go

I know what no one else knows

Here I am just drowning' in the rain

With a ticket for a runaway train  
 

I could escape, I know that. All I need is to do one Chaos Control and I can be off this colony, but to where? I can hear them over the communication system, Robotnik telling the blue hedgehog, Sonic, that he should be past the energy barrier now. He's almost there, almost to the shrine. It won't do any good, when they make it there, they'll meet my 'brother'. That monstrosity that the professor made, the prototype. If they do somehow stop the colony, it won't let it stay that way. What have I done Maria? I've released a hurricane hell-bent on drowning everything.  
 

Everything is cut and dry

Day and night, earth and sky

Somehow I just don't believe it  
 

I remember the last time I stood here with you. I told you I wanted to go to that planet to find a purpose for myself. Oh, what a purpose I found. The professor would always tell me that my reason for living was to help people that by studying me they could find out how to give people immortality. Make sick people, like you, healthy again. Could it have really been that simple? Could that really have been all I was made for? I didn't believe him then, and I doubt him even now. You told me I was destined for something more, is this what you had in mind, Maria?  
  


Runaway train never going back

Wrong way on a one-way track

Seems like I should be getting somewhere

Somehow I'm neither here nor there  
 

That girl, that pink annoyance is talking to me now. She's telling me I need to help them and something else, some other useless prattle I barely pay attention to. Should I help them? I'll be no better off if I do than if I don't. Maria, I wish you could tell me what to do. I'm lost without you. I've always been lost without you. I hear you in my mind, I can see you, leaning over that control panel. You tell me something... time's made that memory so fuzzy, little more than a picture. You say you're scared, then what? What did you really ask of me?  
 

Bought a ticket for a runaway train

Like a madman laughin' at the rain

Little out of touch, little insane

Just easier than dealing with the pain  
 

Your memory told me what I need, you help me even from the grave, Maria. I started this, and I have to stop it. Maybe I can't, but I have to at least try. I have to end this, one way or another. It was a mistake to tell your cousin about the cannon, to release that thing on this planet. I thought it was what I wanted, the people on that planet would know what it was like to have everything ripped from you, your home, the person you love the most, your very life. Losing you was like losing everything, it hurt worse than any test, any torture. Maybe I was crazy for gathering the emeralds and giving Robotnik access to the cannon, but I thought it was better than facing the pain. The way I took was the easy way, the wrong way and the pain of you dying is there, only so many times worse now.  
 

Runaway train never going back

Wrong way on a one-way track

Seems like I should be getting somewhere

Somehow I'm neither here nor there  
 

I won, Maria, I beat the prototype. I broke its life support, and it nearly broke me. It hurts, it bit me in the leg before it took away the gravity. That was a small mercy, my leg was throbbing standing on it. The pain in my leg is almost welcomed now, though. The prototype Chaos Controlled merged with the colony and is still driving it to the planet. I didn't beat it, it's injured, but not dead. All that and we're back at square one. Why, Maria, why when I think I've gotten somewhere does it turn out I haven't? Why when I try to do what's right, to fix the mistakes I've made, I get nowhere? Why?  
 

Runaway train never coming' back

Runaway train tearing' up the track

Runaway train burning' in my veins

Runaway but it always seems the same  
 

One more time, with Sonic, I fought it one more time. I know it's not enough, it was designed like me, to be immortal, immune to death. I'll fight it, though, from now until the end of time I'll fight it. We saved the planet, the colony, did I do it Maria? Did I do what you wanted now? I wish I could see you again but I know that's impossible. Even as I fall through space, I can feel the planet's atmosphere, it's burning me. My whole body feels on fire, the blood in my veins is boiling it seems. There's no turning back now, the Chaos Control has started. I wonder if they'll miss me, if they care. I think I should've said goodbye, I won't be seeing them again. I didn't get the chance to tell Sonic but I'm taking the prototype somewhere it can't hurt anyone and killing it. If it takes 10 years or 10,000 I'll kill it. For you Maria, for my promise to you. Everything I've done, I've done for you, as misguided as it's been, I did it for you. Will you forgive my mistakes? Will this sacrifice make up for them? I hope so. I love you, Maria, I always have loved you. From now until the end of time, I will love you. Nothing will change that, ever. I hope there is a heaven somewhere and that you're there and that you're happy. Happy with me, with what I'm doing. I won't fail you this time and maybe I'll feel like I've gotten somewhere, like what I've done is worthwhile. Maybe...


End file.
